Irritable Vowel Syndrome!

Andrew is getting ready to take the GRE for Graduate school entrance, therefore he is brushing up on a bit of Vocabulary study....oh excessive verbage, or as Mike says, "you have an extreme case of “Irritable Vowel Syndrome!”

Salutations esteemed kindred,
Being the domestic defender that I am, writing you has been bequeathed to me and I cannot abate my compunction for this dilatory display, though not aberrant. May my sincerest reparations, set forth here in this communication, ameliorate your wounds and apprise you of the blithe news of the salvific gospel!
I most recently was cogitating upon the plight of those who, because of the consternation caused by the sin that has become cynosure and bedaubs our world, have sought to circumvent the deleterious dogmas through means of their own and have felt deprecation. How egregiously disconsolate must they feel and how effulgent would be the effects of the gospel in the lives as it has immutable power to beatify. May we emblazon the gospel to these seekers and entreat them assiduously that they may find an egress from the world and concord in the heavenly habitation. As we elucidate and aver the benevolence of the gospel, we will experience the audacity of love and bask in the splendor of the Saviors approbation.
With much piety,
Andrew

ps. I hope I avoided blandishment and verbiage while still managing to vituperate!:)

interpretation:
Hey Fam,
I feel guilty for not writing, sorry hope you can forgive.
I was thinking about people who don't have the gospel and how much they are missing out on and so we better let them know what they are missing out on. I mean tell them to come on in the water is great!:) So we need to let the know and we will be blessed!
Love
Andrew
OH yeah I am studying for the GRE can you tell?